Happy Halloween, Yo!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNE JASPERSON

I just wanted to kick you a happy birthday on the official LH blog. You are a good sister. Stay that way... Here is a short collection of images to help you celebrate.

1. Go find some art to look at. Appreciation of such simulation, stimulation and subjugation might make you a better person. Although, let's be honest Annie, we're not exactly sure if you COULD be a better person. Well, go look at some anyway.
(Gian Lorenzo Bernini's Anima Dannata, or, as they say in English, Damned Soul. 1619, white Marble, 38CM)
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2. LeBron James teamed up with the nicer side of Polo to create this exclusive and limited basketball. It sports (get it???) the signature black and purple of Polo's top tier Purple Label. Each ball was then signed by King James and they are being sold at select Polo stores through the country. All proceeds will go to "benefiting the LeBron James Family Foundation which inspires children to take up sports, become academically focused and also support and empower single parent families across the US."

Upon discovering this dopeitty creation it seemed a match made in heaven. You are currently pursuing an interest in both sports and academics and I know that if put to the test you would throw your weight behind single parent families everywhere. However, when I went to make the purchase they laughed at my feeble bank account and bottom tier polo clothes right before calling security to remove me from the store after I tried to actually dribble the basketball...
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3. These are just some dopeitty kicks to match with your basketball. Notice the throw back to old Jordan styling. However, these are made by nobody even near the Nike team but rather by a smallish operation called Gourmet out of NY or LA or perhaps both. Not quite a one-of-a -kind but I've never seen anybody rock these. They are called the QUATTRO and rep full grain tumbled calf nubuck with braided laces and memory foam insoles.

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4. Who new that funny man Dan Aykroyd would get into the booze business. Well, I didn't but it turns out that he 's been selling the vino for a while now and the bottle below represents is foray into the hard stuff. Since you've been 21 for a whole year now I figure it's time you get your hands on something pretty hardcore yourself. I don't know what could say HARDCORE better than this bottle of Skull Vodka. Perfect for the Halloween season. 49 Buckarros will take you there.

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5. Ghetto TA Get. This is for that tiny, minuscule, little bit of Ghetto you have in you. Happy Birthday Annie. Love.

Thank YOu...

Another year older and now I'm living in Portland while on the mend from constant sunburns gleaned from my last five years in the heat of Arizona. While I do miss some of my compadres and old haunts, our backyard pool and weekly sessions at the yucca, I must admit that I'm not doing too bad here in the NW of my youth. I have some coolin friends and things are always rolling by smoothly. I have a wonderful girl in my corner and room to live...

Thank you Mack, Erin and Claire for posting up for the party last night. It was dope. Thanks for the food, the decorations, the cake, the location. You guys do good things for me and I really appreciate it. Thank you Nick and Teddy for showing up and having fun. Thanks also go to Mikaylee and Emily for hanging out and doing good things with Palm Trees and Kitty Kats. Lastly, thank you Kristina for helping me celebrate yet another year. I have a feeling that you put a good amount of work into organizing that small fall fiesta and it turned out to be a great time.

Run down recap of the events.
a. About 6 cooks in the kitchen at all times, getting crazy.
b. Banana Cake with 27 candles.
c. Beautiful end result of food, music, wine, pumpkins.
d. Decorations of purple and yellow, with multicolored balloons.
e. Palm Tree, Grim Reaper, Flower/plant, DIE, Sun, Mad Surgeon, Kitty Kat, Sad Pumpkin with Ears, one Pumpkin with random shapes and lines and a beaver and a dog dancing in the desert under the stars while praying to his sky gods of triangles (machine elves).
f. Pasta with baked winter squash and goat cheese. Bread Olive Oil and Vinegar. Super Salad.
g. 15 minutes of music with techno India.
h. Teddy's laugh.
i. One small link with thruster packs.
j. missing some AZ crews.
k. Domination
list is too long. It was fun. I appreciate it.

UPDATE #2: The Joker, 1. Batman, 0...

YoYoOoYoOoYOoOoOOoo YoooYooo YYOOOoo YO!!! (like Yo! MTV RAPS)


Via STEVE-O on the old Myspace HIGHspace: "Yeah...i have been approached several times while at work this week about it....thanks for the heads up..."

Steve-O already knows the deal and has secured himself a moment in the sun. And how bright it must be. A position of power, ladies on your arm, perhaps a discounted education, and now some time in the blogisphericalmania...

Seems that I may have not taken into account that EVERYBODY in college and their hoot scooting mom's are watching the CL MC's because everyone wants to be wanted. And who can blame everyone, all those hordes of people out there skulking over their laptops and PC's at coffee stores while simultaneously trying to catch the clerks eye and immediately post their very own MC about it. I can't throw blame, it feels damn good to be wanted and for that reason I'm going to keep making connections. Eventually one of these will lead to a serious make-out/groping session in the basement/backseat/movie theater/house party/park/dance hall/concert/cardboard box...

Build A Bike...

I just imagine how much fun it would be to have this at your fingertips.

UPDATE: The Joker, 1. Batman, 0...

UPDATE:

Steve-O got back in touch with me on the myspace tip, thingy, love circle. It took a couple of days for curiosity to get the best of him and in turn allow him to gather his courage, but he hit me back with this very deftly worded reply.

"Hey...so why do you ask?"

Before I had received this I had been pondering over exactly what to do in the instance that both Steve's failed to reply. After some convo with friends we determined that boys are less likely and willing to extend their hand in helloishness to some random offering over myspace. You can imagine my relief and excitement then when I got the chance to hit him back with what this was all about. I decided to take the straight forward approach and be direct in my response.

"Hey man, thanks for getting back to me. I'm kind of documenting my attempt to make connections. Do you think this might be you?

http://portland. craigslist. org/mlt/mis/884459567. html

Unfortunately for the poster, in the picture you recently uploaded, it looks like you might have a lady on your arm. So perhaps no connection can be made. Either way could you please let me know what you think? Does this posting refer to you and if so it would be great if you told me what you think. If you feel this does not pertain to you but perhaps another officer it would be great if you could give me a contact. Thanks again. MJ "

I'm hoping that this direct route did several things. One, if this is in fact the security officer in question I hope that reading this posting made his day. Two, if this is not the security officer in question (we can't really tell much from his profile pic and he may actually be swaddled in flabby skin, 5'2" and covered in rash) then I hope he shares this with his troop of officers at the PCC campus. Lastly three, I am hoping that aside from making his day that Steve-O contacts the poster and they go to a movie, dinner, and dessert at Pix/5th quadrant. If I do hear that a connection will be made I will certainly suggest this line of action. I hope that more updates can be posted for you enjoyment.

The Joker, 1. Batman, 0...

I have been mulling around in a feeling of self worthlessness over the last week +. My failure found in BATMAN OF THE MC's has left me clamoring for a greater meaning in life and the need for success. The knowledge that movie madness babe, Tasha, is likely watching flicks solo in the dark has weakened my resolve and in turn derailed my weekly mission of installed connections, or any other postings for that matter.

I AM REBORN !
Or I shall be soon. I have decided to pick up almost exactly where I left off, botched and bungled at the college campus of PCC. Only this time we are switching gears and moving over to the Cascade campus and taking our focus to the staff.

THE MISSED CONNECTION POSTING...
As posted on October, 18th 2008 in the woman for man Craigslist missed connections: "Does anyone know who the tall hot sexy public safety officer is that works at Cascade campus in the day time. Anyone know if he has a myspace."

OUR CANDIDATES... It's political season, no?
Who could this, oh who ever could it be? Well, lets take a look...
Campbell, David M
Chow, Wally K
Dunn, Robert H
Feather, Steve M
Johnson, Todd
Langley, Terry T
Thompson, John H

These names were pulled from a website that lists all of the Public Safety Officers for PCC (all campuses). They were then weeded out after determining that the notation of CA likely means Cascade Campus. This website also contains each of their professional emails and a phone number for contact.

After a quick review of the names I think it's worth a moment to dissect who our most likely choice is. I will immediately cross off Wally Chow as a viable candidate for the simple reason that our protector of love and education is described as tall.*

I will also immediately cross off Terry Langley as an option. Terry is the sergeant who runs the public safety office at PCC Cascade and my reasoning for crossing him off is this. In order for our "tall hot sexy public safety officer" to be noticed he likely had to be giving off a certain vibe as he twirled his baton and clutched his radio. Sergeant Terry did not get to his high ranking position by sauntering down the hall and smiling at young impressionable ladies. He was too busy busting the pot smoking greasers out by the trash cans who happened to think they were still in high school.

Lastly, I am going to take Todd Johnson off of the list. Todd seems to only have two names and we don't want to hook this connection up with a serial killer. I'm trying to create a situation for love not a real life dungeon master.

HOW TO MAKE A CONNECTION...
According to my math we have 4 viable options left for true love, or at least a little bit of lust in the back corner of the library. The next step is to see if any of these fine protectors of innocent minds can be found on Myspace. This will tell us if they are indeed tall, hot and sexy.

David Cambell: This is the closest I could find to a David Cambell in Oregon. He has Medford listed as his home town and he declares himself a highschool student at North Medford in his "about me" section. Furthermore his occupation reads as "Lazy Ass". He also appears to enjoy getting "FCUcukd Up" and I'm pretty sure public safety officers are required pass a UA. YAY AREA RAP! LETs GET HYPHY YO!...

Robert Dunn: There are two Robert Dunn's in Portland and each has a myspace profile. The first is 53, married and is listed as a mechanic. From his pictures he does not look hot, sexy or tall. Not to me at least... The second Robert Dunn is listed as 29 years old and has his profile set to private. This is a good sign.

Steve Feather: THINGS JUST GOT INTERESTING! There also happen to be two Steve Feathers (or perhaps they are two profiles from the same person) living near Portland Oregon. Both of their profiles are set to private but each profile pic provides for a serious teaser. The first profile is for 94 year old self named "Retarded Steve" who is from Camus, Washington and shows what I believe to be a public safety vehicle in the profile picture. While this is enticing the second profile from a self titled and 26 year old "Steve-O" from Vancouver, Washington, shows a young, nice looking man awaiting instructions prior to giving CPR to a plastic dummy. Both of these individuals (I maintain that they could be the same person) prove to be definite options. The cascade campus is "situated in the revitalized North Portland area" and is not too far of a commute from either Camas or Vancouver.

John Thompson: There are 12 John Thompsons in the Portland area. Of those 7 are old enough to work at the Public Safety Beat at PCC. Of those one is gay (I'm not going to waste my time connecting a nice young lady to an older gay man), one is a screen printer (not a public safety dude), one has not logged onto his profile since 6/8/2007 and looks like he might be in jail, another has not logged onto his profile since 9/14/2006 and looks like he might either be in AA or workring as the UofP mascot. Yet another is retired and the last has kids (again, I'm not interested in wasting my time or wreaking households).

THE MESSAGE...
Originally I was just going to flood all possible profiles with the same message in order to force at least a couple of responses. Upon further review, and after focusing on the good feeling I get from Steve Feather I am going to start there and work my way out. Both Steve's will get this same message sent to their Myspace Profiles.

"Duder, Do you happen to work at the PCC Cascade Campus as a Public Safety Officer? If so I have a surprise for you. Please let me know as these things get dated."†

If this doesn't work then I will hit up viable Robert Dunn with the same message. If at this point I have failed in my attempts I will flood each Safety officers work email with a link to the Craigslist MC's where they can personally work it out how to find true internet, cyber, binary love.



Hit me back on the comment if you wanna place a bet on who the connection might be or if you see some detail I have overlooked. In time I hope to win the hearts of each and every one of you and get back on track in the blogospherinmania.


*I realized that I may be proven wrong about the tallness of Wally Chow. I mean just look at Yao Ming.

†This has a double meaning. Both the posting and the ladies end up eventually getting dated.

Batman of the MC's...

For quite some time I have been trying to figure out what to do for a weekly installment on this blog. Many ideas have rotated through my skull but none have ever stuck. Some of the more reasonable thoughts, and reasoning behind them, have been...

- Movie review: This would force me to watch at least one movie per week. (As if that were a challenge).

- Book Review: This would force me to read at least on book per week. (As if I read that fast or have that much time to devote to reading).

- Concert/Art Review: This would force me to hit a show once per week.

- Wiki How to of the week: the Wiki how RSS is linked to my Igoogle page and in turn I get a couple new "how to's" per week. These range from "How to be Angelina Jolie" to "How to Build a Snow Cave" or "How to Know if You're Dating a Gold Digger" (I already know this and I have the photo to prove it). Several of these articles of help have caught my eye but they have consistently failed to motivate creating a weekly installment.

- Picture of the week: I thought that this would help to get me out with a camera and see the world.

Needless to say the list of possible weekly installments continues to run through my mind. However, after looking over all of the options that have been pondered and then rejected, it easily becomes apparent that all of these weekly installments would revolve around me and not around the reader. In every instance I would be getting something out of the posts rather than those who might happen to read this blog. I would get to see the show, the movie. I would get to read the book, or learn how to do the basic 6 step of break dancing. You would just get to read about it. In reflection I have determined that this is both self serving for me, and boring for you. Therefore, after a little thought and a couple of good conversations over the past week, I have decided to remove both you and me, as primary participants, from the equation. In will walk two new souls, the poster and the missed.

Background: Every so often, in a fit of boredom I strike out in search of excitement. However lame, this often happens through a vicarious state of interplay, such as can be found on the Craigslist Missed Connections. This started innocently enough as I would, from time to time, search for long lost love notes to a smallish blond friend of mine. She's out wheeling around for work and often doesn't have the time or the facilities to peek into this section of Craigslist. I happen to have both.

The Start: The other day I was doing exactly this, searching for Mack's temporaneous one and only when I found this posting in the Men looking for Women missed connections.


I quickly noticed that in this short and well crafted message I found two pieces of crucial information; who the poster was looking for and where she could be found. It was at that very moment that everything just fell into place. Like the batman of Craiglist MC's, my weekly installment will be to bring together, for good or bad, one couple per week. I will get the message from the poster to the person that is missed.

After a little bit of digging (actually much less than I anticipated) I was able to find several links that could offer help in this particular instance; my first installment. Here are the steps that were taken.

1. Find the class Syllabus: http://spot.pcc.edu/~mdembrow/eng195.htm
2. Attempt to find Tasha. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=33539565

Myspace message sent...
Tasha, This is going to seem creepy, although I assure you it is not. Do you happen to attend a film class at PCC on Tuesdays? If so I think that I might have a surprise for you. Please let me know. Thanks, MJ

2:40pm on Oct 10th: With everything set in place my only option is to now sit back and wait. I will update this once I learn if our Tasha is in fact the same as our posters Tasha.


UPDATE at 8:40pm on Oct 1oth: A bust!!! Tasha of the myspace profile above is not our Tuesday night movie watching love muffin. While she does attend PCC Sylvania she assures me that she is a Business major and her myspace does support that it is unlikely she would enroll in a Movie class. After all, one of her favorite movies is listed as the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. This new information is a bummer, however this will not deter me from continuing my matchmaking quest.

Ropes Have Two Ends...

Good and Evil. The spirituality of life and the organization of religion. Belief and reality. There are issues out there that are simply hard to talk about and even harder to conclude or grasp. One of these issues resonates around that fact that often with unwavering belief comes the complete absence of rational thought. We should constantly be questioning our realities, our reasons for belief, and the ways that those beliefs shape the world. It's the only way to stay true to our ever changing context called life. My feelings are that Bill Maher will be labeled as bigot, hate monger, and racist after his new movie Religulous gets airtime. Although to me he is really just asking several necessary questions. Questions that we should all ask in order to stay honest.





Check out an NPR review HERE.

I've been working on trying to get better at many things for the last couple years. I think there are some very easy ways to simply improve life.
1. Love. Love those around you, love yourself, love the earth, create love.
2. Improve yourself. Get educated, Stay Fit, Live Well. By doing these things you will constantly learn, grow, change, improve.
3. Do good things for people when you can. Good is relative so base it off of what might improve others lives.
4. Create. Improve the world.

From a cynical point of view these are full of cheese. Whatever. Be good.